Internet Anthropologist Think Tank: Taliban's monkey army, intercept

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    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    Taliban's monkey army, intercept

    Taliban training monkeys for Jihad?


    Taliban com intercept:
    #1 is base operator
    #2 is his supperior

    1) speak english, no pashtune
    inshal allah brother
    2) yes english not arapic
    inshalla brother
    how is our holy monkey army?

    1) we shura for best monkey
    trainers in villiages. We force
    They to train monkeys.

    2) verily good

    1) every trainer so far has been marytered
    by the monkeys.
    We can get them to shoot,
    but they kill trainers.
    run away with guns and shoot at us
    from woods. we must hide till they
    run out of amo.
    Monkwys shoot each other
    and we have to trade fruit to get
    back empty guns.

    2) so you have some progress.
    that is good brother, good.
    1) umm yes yes
    we can get them to shoot, but
    they shoot at everything.
    Trainers, cooks,dogs, other monkeys
    even look down barrel of gun
    and shot themselves.
    We are running out of monkeys.
    we are afraid to train them on mortars.
    Both motar instructors and monkey trainers
    Amonkey took over kitchen, and shot
    at any one comming near while he
    ate everything.
    2) So have you have some small problems have you
    taught them to shoot, you will over come with
    the help of Allah, at uniforms.
    1) ahh yes they will shoot at uniforms.
    to be truth ful they shoot at every one.
    The kids have quit coming to visit monkeys.
    Bad bad problem, no more kids in camp
    any more, they stay far far away.

    2) is OK, if this doean't work out, we will
    blame CIA. Say they trained the monkeys.
    Damn chinese have spies and have seen
    camp and posted stories.
    Any chance of even one monkey attack on US forces?
    1) NO, well maybe, some have excaped
    with guns but not much amo, they might shoot at
    But the monkeys sill shoot at anyone.
    Once you give them guns you have to get
    away right away.
    We release monkeys form cage, and
    plant fruit among weapons,
    and then we get in truck and drive away
    very fast, and hear gun shots , many gun
    2) yes that is good , good idea,
    just release them with guns.
    you are genius brother, I

    picked you special for this op
    1) no we returned and all the monkeys
    were dead they kill each other.
    we must to have to kill all trained monkeys.

    2) why, that is not good why?
    1) monkey saw Taliban bro watching porno
    on computer thru window monkey
    went out a nd stole weapon form sleeping
    brother one anc came back and shot prono viewer
    and sat down to wathch porn.
    Had to kill monkey he wouldn't give
    up PC.
    ( Taliban Porn #1, G )
    2) any luck with RPGs
    1) yes yes we have sent squad
    of monkeys to you with RPGs
    to show you progress.
    They should be ariving your
    location any min now.
    2) you SOB

    end of intercept.



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    Anonymous lilly said...

    Okay - that post was seriously awesome ;-> ROTFLMAO

    1:41 PM  
    Blogger gerald said...

    Thanks alot
    I read real news stories
    listed at bottom
    and this popped into my mind
    Glad U enjoyed it, G

    6:37 AM  

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