Internet Anthropologist Think Tank: How to join the Taliban

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    Thursday, May 06, 2010

    How to join the Taliban

    How to join the Taliban 

    By Gerald: Internet Anthropologist Think Tank

    From one of our sources:
    So you want to join the Taliban

    You will need to make contact over the Internet, post your request in one of the forums.
    or maybe you have some personal connections.

    There will be a lot of hurry up and wait
    weeks and months, while you are checked

    You must be in very good shape as you will
    be walking 4 to 6 weeks.

    And in various climates, from sub-zero temps
    to over 110 degrees. As you are smuggled
    walking thru many countries,over well know routes.
    Thru high low O2 mountain passes with ass deep snow,
    frost bite is common and not treated, medical services
    are non existent.
    And you will cross deserts with just enough water to keep you

    You will learn the smell of your body, no toilet paper,
    thats what Allah gave your your left hand for.
    And the food will be just enough to keep you alive,
    expect huge weight losses.

    Your kit is subject to inspection time and time again,
    And your possessions will be seized by handlers
    for "Donations" to the poor. Often the handlers.
    They profit from fleecing recruits.
    This includes your money and passport,
    they can make good money reselling your
    passport on the black market.
    These funds do not go the the 'cause'
    but to the pockets of the criminal handlers
    along your route.
    Who are also drug smugglers and herion addicts.
    But hash, mary jane, black herion all are very cheap.
    The terrorist LIKE drug users.

    You will be cleaned out, hiking boots and
    thermal underwear, watches jewelry, sleeping bags,
    and warm clothing.
    And expected to buy your own weapon,
    Which will be taken form you if you don't
    meet muster.

    Don't expect warm hugs for your sacrifices,
    they don't konw you and don't trust you.
    And if they kill you they MAY get a verbal
    tongue lashing. And your body will just disappear.

    They will isolate you, and treat you as the unknown
    you are. You are suspected spies or informant, and treated in
    a hostile manner.

    If you are expecting a hero's welcome, you will
    be shocked.
    Are your a Sunni or Shia?
    If the wrong group gets you it could be very bad.

    You may receive minimal training and asked
    if you want to be a fighter or suicide bomber.
    They may use you unknowingly for either.

    Squalid housing, foul meals, fleas and sickness,
    diarrhea are the norm. Malaria is common, and 'they' may

    If you are not tough enough, read no complaints
    and willing to suffer 24/7 and go with out food,
    and be expendable, you will be turned loose.

    Robbed and treated disrespectfully is standard.
    The ranks of handlers are smugglers, criminals.
    No triumphant reception..Grilled for hours and
    boring repeated lectures.
    Then you maybe allowed to be used as cannon
    For some PR article or propaganda, after all
    Terrorist have Suicide bombers dance the "dance of death" for a few media bytes in a video or
    news story.



    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Its nothing like you described

    you are being an Idiot , The Taliban are very kind people ,I am a loyal supporter ,,,I Support their efforts .

    I even Publicly encourage them to Keep fighting and bring the US down to their knees,

    I am not just a Taliban supporter but a supporter of any enemy of the US ,,I even might be willing to sell them my knowledge of certain Chemicals ,,,( in case you try reporting me to the FBI or who ever Its not a Crime to sell Knowledge to someone nor is it a Crime to publicly encourage the invasion of the us

    10:13 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    plz i want to something for this purpose i know to make portable bombs using deodourants and printer toners.......i kno it sounds stupid but they can really be used for exploding 3 to4 ppl...ill be looking forward to it

    4:33 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    americans have ruined iraq afgahnistan its their time to recieve their fate .thats all i would say.

    6:23 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i would also say that there no strong reason to blame muslims for 9 11 and the same for killing osama

    5:38 AM  
    Blogger Talha said...

    Asalamoalikom.My name is Umar and with the grace of ALLMIGHTY Allah I love mujahideen,taliban and every single person in this world who knows and have some respect for them. I meet lot of mujahideen alot of them have been dead till now may ALLAH GIVE THEM A HIGH RANK IN JANNAH.InsahAllah one day I will blow this AMERICA AND INDIA because I am form Lashkar e jangwi,TTP.Asalamoalikom.

    2:20 PM  

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