Internet Anthropologist Think Tank: In consideration of death

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    Monday, March 14, 2011

    In consideration of death

    The Japan incident nags me, no matter how careful we are
    about our heath, we can be snuffed out in minutes from unexpected

    What I do the world is done on purpose, what the world does to
    me is often just being in the wrong place at the wrong time,
    as the world rolls on you just happen to be siting on the bottom.

    A few times in my short life I have been close to death,
    I could hear it breathing and smell its breath, and at those
    times I felt closest to life.

    As a youngster we feel invulnerable, nothing can hurt us.
    Then as we grow older we see and feel the hurt others
    experience except for the grace of God there go us.

    And from 30 to 50 that feeling of invulnerability wanes like
    the moon, and slowly it dawns on us to be more careful.


    As a young man I was reckless, knife fight in Morocco 
    which I involved the US embassy in. 
    Or in tramping through the jungles in Belize.
    And being shot at, very exhilarating, kicks
    that adrenalin up and keeps it there all day. 


    And I gave up the motorcycle, 350 cc Honda with
    long handle bars and foot posts up front so I could
    lean back in comfort and a Ducati racing bike
    250 cc with 10 to 1 compression ratio.
    And the once a year crashes.

    But approaching older age I need to think twice
    about getting in a fight, the mind is sharp and fast
    but the reflexes have slowed, and I no longer have
    14" biceps. And damn I just heal slower.
    I have to keep my mouth from writing checks
    my body can no longer cash.

    Currently I limit my self to insults they don't
    get till later, when I'm not around.

    I know death is out there but I don't think
    he is stalking me yet. I keep an eye out for 
    him and as I get older I think about him more,
    and resent the hell out of him.

    But life has gotten even more exciting chasing
    terrorists and hackers on the Web.

    Just trying to keep up with the web is 
    exciting, harnessing the technology to
    feed my mind, forcing the WWW to master its
    self for me and feed me, that sweet addictive
    feed on anything I chose to aim it at.


    Being a stock broker was exciting, learning
    to understand the world in a economic paradigm.
    Often I was chastised for having a big week
    and spending the other 3 weeks of the month
    doing research.

    When I started I had constant heart burn from
     worry I was running several millions of dollars
    of clients money, a tidy sum back then.
    I kept a box of baking soda in my top desk
    drawer, and just wet my finger and stuck it
    in the box and licked it off, to settle my stomach
    acid, that lasted almost a full year before I got
    the confidence I  needed from experience.

    My biggest sale over the phone to someone
    I never met was 3 million dollars.

    And I was faced with my own integrity, had to
    measure up my own honesty. The first time
    I bank wired several millions to a client.

    I could have wired the money any where in the
    world, and I admit I did set there and think about
    it for 15 min. then wired the money to the client.
    That was exciting to be tested, and pass my own
    test. At that time the Company had sent me to
    Switzerland for a break and I did have a Swiss 

    But I still have so much to do, I'm behind in my
    goals and objectives, as I get older money is still
    a consideration but acknowledgement is also 
    a form of tender now.

    Death comes to everyone, eventually, even me.
    And occasionally I lift my head to scan the horizon
    looking for him.

    NOT  Gerald

    Its been a grand ride so far and as long as I 
    have my intellect I still want to ride.

    But systems are slowing down.
    Now a nice set of boobs or a strawberry
    short cake are about equal priorities.

    But I've become invisible to women 
    it happened in my 50s, You know how a 
    woman will look you up and down, look
    you over, that stopped in my 50's they
    now look right through me, like I'm not 
    there, I still chase them, but now its my mind
    I have to interest them in, not the body.

    In my day I was a sharp stud and had more 
    than my share of women, now its just more 
    work on my part.

    Out on the farm recently I got a very bad electric
    shock and was out cold, I felt my brain reboot 3
    times very strange, but it was very much like 
    a computer rebooting, and felt like just like it.

    But it wasn't painful, and if that whats death is
    like then I'm not afraid of it, but I resent it.
    And all my powers of concentration couldn't
    stop the black out, I tried as hard as I could
    to stay conscious and it beat me. I slid into

    When the time comes I guess I just wrasle
    with it and try and beat it, not much else one
    can do.

    I don't know what good thinking about it does,
    but I do, and haven't come up with a plan yet.
    The body just keeps slowly wearing out,
    the mind so far has gotten sharper.

    And around mid 50's my mind became my
    favorite part of my body to play with,
    guess I'm officially out of boyhood now.

    Its been a truly wondrous trip but the end is
    coming maybe 20 to 40yrs? But as long as
    I have my mind I'm going for a hundred.

    Jeeze I bet gettin a woman at 100 will be
    a heck of alot of work. 
    But I'll find a way, unless theres some
    strawberries around.


    The question of death often leads
    one to religion, but that seems to
    be a matter of faith or belief.
    Not always helpful when searching
    for logic based reason.
    But maybe there is an answer in Physics.
    Law of conservation of energy.
    That energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

    I certainly feel I have or am energy, my intellect.
    So after death my energy may still be around.
    Even as a cognitive intelligence.

    But the concept of life or intelligence after
    death seems so foreign.
    When mom and dad died, they were cold,
    quiet the spark was gone.
    How could we understand something
    so foreign?

    The only thing I have come up with
    that could maybe be comparable
    is birth.
    To come from that warm womb,
    floating, well fed, no discomfort,
    subdued lighting and sound.
    Not even breathing, and no sight.
    And to come into a new dimension,
    Where it is cold, bright, loud and you
    have to breathe. Vision, and skin feelings
    where there was very little tacit impressions.

    Maybe death is like that, a move into a
    new dimension so wild and far out
    it is like a unborn baby trying to understand
    what awaits it, outside the womb.

    Scary at first, but really great feelings,
    and a whole new dimension to explore.
    Could that be the light so many think they
    see, a glimpse of the new dimension?

    New senses, sharpened feelings, unimaginable
    new experiences?

    Maybe this is what Tim Hetherington,
    'Restrepo' and Chris Hondros and others
    are experiencing now?

    Rest in PEACE, or have fun in this
    new dimension.




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